Monday, January 18, 2010

Vampires ......

..exist. Really, they do. In fact they have moved into the flat upstairs.

Some time last year the flat changed hands. After a while, when all seemed reasonably peaceful, an awful lot of building work started to take place.

First we thought they were having a new kitchen or a new bathroom. It seemed they were having new everything. The whole flat was being ripped out. Even the tiled floor was being taken up and we were treated to days on end of an SDS drill hammering away.

But eventually peace reigned and the new people moved in.

The days were quiet and tranquil, but then we realised, when we were going to bed - they were waking up.

And then they stayed awake all night. Chattering, laughing, and - whatever else. Around getting up time ie 6am onwards, they fell into their coffins quiet.

There was no loud music. Fortunately. There were a few loud banging noises, as though they were moving round their heavy coffins furniture.

One day Partner saw a group of them in the daylight. Pale skin, and dark hair. Rather like Mortitia although perhaps not quite the same build. They were on one of their rare excursions during the daytime.

Clearly when they ripped out all the previous stuff from the flat they were getting rid of any anti-vampire things. Mouldy garlic, crosses, stakes, whatever else that could possibly damage them.

After all who else gets up at 9/10/11 pm and goes to bed at 5/6 am?

Still, as they don't play loud music, I don't care. Quiet vampires are preferable to noisy people.

Always best to be on the safe side though .....


Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

wow, how freakish!

I googled How To Get Rid of a Vampire or Vampires in your case. Have copied and pasted these tips below.

"1. Step 1

Getting rid of vampires doesn't necessarily mean to kill vampires. You can get them to go away using a few different items. First off, cloves of garlic can let a vampire know that you are serious about the extrication of his kind. Some people think that the garlic will actually kill the vampire. I think not. But it does put the vampire in an uncomfortable situation.

2. Step 2

Holy water is also an effective way of getting the vampire to leave. Holy water is more dangerous than garlic, but, for the most part, it is most likely an annoyance more than anything else. You throw the holy water at the vampire or sprinkle it around the vampires environment and there is a good chance that the vampire will go on to a less vigilant victim who doesn't know how to get rid of his kind. As a side note, if you could somehow get the vampire to plunge himself into a pool of holy water, this would definitely kill him. But that just isn't likely to happen.

3. Step 3

Sometimes, you can wait the vampire out until daylight. This is definitely an effective means to get rid of the vampire, or, if nothing else, it will give you a chance to get away from the vampire. Again, this won't necessarily kill the vampire unless you can somehow trap him or her and get them in the sunlight without a way for them to escape, but this scenario isn't likely because vampires are usually sleeping during the day.

4. Step 4

If killing the vampire is your intent, one way to do this is to use a pistol that is loaded with a silver bullet. You can't just graze the vampire with the bullet, though. You need to hit them flush in the head or chest. I can not confirm that you can kill the vampire with a bullet shot from a rifle or some kind of automatic or semi-automatic weapon, although it seems plausible. But if I were you, I wouldn't chance it unless I was far away enough to shoot the weapon and I had a pistol for close up range loaded with another silver bullet as a backup.

5. Step 5

Finally, a stake through the heart will definitely kill the vampire. Some cultures insist on it being a wooden stake. Other cultures believe it takes a wooden crucifix that also doubles as a stake. Either way, if you're using a stake, be certain that it is wooden and that you drive it through the heart."

However, because you are a vegetarian, the last option may not be to your taste, nor mine if I am honest.

The article also including a shopping list for your getting rid of Fest, should you decide to go ahead.

"Things You'll Need:

* crucifix that doubles as a stake
* pistol
* silver bullet
* holy water
* cloves of garlic"

You did not specify their approximate ages though, so from my experience of teenagers, the sleeping patterns you describe, sound very familiar to my children's.

Although I would add to the mix loud music, which obviously, and thankfully you are not having to put up with.

I will be interested to learn if you do take some preventative measures with regard to Mortitia and Crew.


Letty x

Ruby Bleu said...

have you been reading a Twilight??? That is hysterical!!!

michele :)

Frasypoo said...

Hey Kate
Garlic should and will help!!!
Hugs to Pippa
Are you on facebook?
Frasier is on there too

Radu said...

I'm from Romania and I'm a Vampire!:)) I joking :))
Nice post,in my country on November 30 is the feast of St Andrew's when people clinging to the window garlic to protect them from evil spirits! (Ghost, Moroi, Vampires). In that night the evil spirits get out of the graves.
Best wishes! Radu